Connection is a superpower that helps us know that our true selves can be seen and heard and valued 💗

Hiya!,
I hope this finds you well :) This was my latest email newsletter.
Hope you find something helpful in here because I found it helpful to write xo

   How is it going?? It has been a long time! Like a looooooong time. Even the crickets gave up on this newsletter LOL! And, you might be thinking... "Lisa what is up?? Did you get lost? How is the biz? Is everything cool and harmonious?" Well....yes, ila & alice has been fantastic and I am super thrilled with the work I have been doing. The creativity is flowing!  But I didn't reach out sooner because but the truth is, I didn't feel like I had much to say. I've been creating like crazy and have made some great art but I didn't feel that I had anything of value to share with you that was authentic or from the heart. Every month I put "write newsletter" on the to-do list but I always felt the same way....uninspired and unmotivated. Meh. Which is not a great way to feel when you are trying to share your new biz with people.

   And sooooo to be honest, it was a difficult start to 2018 for me personally and in the interest of being upfront and authentic (because that is where this is going), the last four years have been difficult as well. I will get into details later in other emails but I wanted to let you know that it's not you, it was me. I have been working through some stuff and wasn't sure what I had to share with you that was of value. The good news is that I feel differently now as I have (finally!) figured a few things out. Let's chat for just a few minutes. I won't keep you long, I promise. It will only take about 5 minutes there are some nice warm and fuzzies in here for you as well. 

 

  Friends, I have had issues all over the place. My issues have issues! LOL! I have been working hard on these difficulties and happy to report that I am having success managing my issues.  Most importantly, in dealing with these difficulties I have many "ah-ha" moments and realizations that I wouldn't have had if I wasn't going through the healing process. The biggest lightbulb moment was when I realized that my work, my art and WHY I was doing what I was doing was the healing process in itself. That working through my issues of self-worth and value with my art was the best therapy of all. It also was a huge moment when I knew that my pain, anxiety and deep-seated fear of "not being good enough" was oddly enough one of the best ways that I could connect with all of you. Life works in strange ways doesn't it?? Strange but amazing!

 

   My word for 2017 was "connected" and I did well connecting with like-minded gals and I formed a small tribe for myself. It was through these connections I realized that what I was fearful of and had great anxiety about were the same fears as the women I was connecting with. We are all feeling the same things but many of us sit in quiet shame afraid someone else might find out we are not perfect. An imposter even?? I read post, after post, after post, online from the brave few who dared to be truly open and admit these fears and how they ruled their lives.

Ugh. You know the ones I mean?? Fear of not being perfect, not being good enough, fear of being seen and fear of NOT being seen. So many women have great anxiety around their value and sense of self-worth. They (you, me, we) have trouble seeing their value in the world. So many of us go about our days listening and even worse, BELIEVING the nasty things our inner critics and egos tell us. It breaks my heart how many of us berate and belittle ourselves. I mean seriously. We do this to ourselves all.the.time AND half the time we don't even realize it. We go about our day "la la la. you suck! la la la. no one cares!" It is crazy making and it is so pervasive.  But here's the thing, we all deserve to have self-loving and kind thoughts run through our minds every day. Now, I realize that this is very complex and primal in its nature and there are no easy answers but the key here is that we don't have to be alone in our struggles.
 

  Soooooo now....this brings me to you. YEP! I've been thinking a lot about you as I move through my journey of healing. I think about your struggles and what holds you back in life. I have thought a lot about what you need to hear, to read and to see to help you heal. And, you ask... "My good woman! How do you know these things??" Well, as much as I would like my superpower to be that I can read minds, I can't.  However, I am working on getting much more in tune with my intuition and I would say, I know this because it is (and I feel quite confident in this statement) pretty much the same thing I need.

Why am I thinking about you? Well, not only because you are fabulous Darling but also because I have been considering what to share with you here in the newsletter. I have been thinking about how you and I are similar. We all need words of love, encouragement, kindness and support. We need not only to be listened to but to be heard. We need to hear that we are enough the way we are.....right now in this exact moment...we are enough. We ARE good enough, smart enough, strong enough and we all have immense value. We need to be reminded we are not alone and that we are all connected. I know I need to hear these things every day and there is no shame in needing to hear them.

  Connected. I want us to FEEL this. WHY? Because this is the stuff of healing and of an energy that can be felt whether you and I are near or far. Connection through the sharing of our journeys and our stories. That our connection is shared in a way such that you feel seen & heard. There is so much great shizzle in being connected and that, my dear friend, is where the magic lies. And, I don't know about you, but I can always use some good old-fashioned sparkly, mystical magic in my life. Life can be hard enough with going to work, paying bills, doing the same damn dishes over and over every day. Shazam!...bring me some magically-connected-shizzle AND! a glass of wine :) 

    My work and the art I make is full of sentiments, words and images that I have used to help me heal and grow over the past four years. I have to come to understand that the work I have created is three-fold. It is to help me, it is to help you and it is to help connect all of us. To connect us through this medium but also, with your friends and your tribe. The people who you want to help and reach out to. I know it sounds cliche but we really are all connected and I know that as women, we do connection very well. But, I also know from the hundreds of posts that I've read, many of us still feel alone and many times we feel isolated and ashamed in our fears. But when we share and connect we take away the power that fear has over us. Connection can be our superpower because let's face it.....mind reading would get ugly and weird really fast ;)

                                                          

  So yeah, my goal is to make this newsletter a place where stories are told and where you are inspired. That my words bring support and comfort. That the cards that I make connect you not only to me but to the people in your life who you want to support, cheer on and send love to. Would I like you to buy a card from me?? Of course *smiles big*  BUT! what I really want is to connect and share. That is number one because that is the foundation of our healing and support. There is so much empowerment within connection. Oooooooh, did someone say empowerment?? Empowerment is my word 2018 but more on that next time.

  I will leave it there for now. I know you are busy and have lots to do and I am sure I should be cleaning something where.... LOL! Thank you for sharing this quick chat with me. Speak kindly to yourself and remember...... you are enough. Much love, Lisa xo 

If you would like to sign up for my bi-monthy email newsletter there is a sign up box on the right hand side of this blog :)

Manifestations for March- A Way to Heal

Manifestations for March

Hiya Pussycats!
I finished my manifestation board for March yesterday.
My main intentions are about the following:
*strength
*connection
*transformation
*foundation
*grounded-ness
*authenticity
* easy cash flow
*fluidity

I find making these boards really help me get

 focused and on track for the coming month.

I didn't always do these boards in-fact I only

 started about a year ago.

I started making them on a regular basis when 

a business coach suggested that I make them to 

help get me centered and focused on what I was 
trying to achieve. I was having a lot of difficulty
then trying to plan out what I was doing and why.

For those who don't know, I closed a brick and mortar
business in March of 2104 and decided to sell 
exclusively online. I re-branded and thought I could 
easily jump back in and my creative mojo would
just flow. Well, it didn't.
I wrote a blog piece here about my struggle to
get back on track creatively and emotionally if
you would like to read about that.
It is about overcoming fear of failure 
and massive insecurities.

Anyhow, making manifestation boards was
a way of trying to connect what I wanted, where
I wanted to go with my biz and how I felt about it all.
Despite the fact that I was excited to move into a 
new phase of biz with my new brand and my identity
I had a lot of fear and many doubts.

Visualizing what I wanted and how that would feel
was a big help in helping me pin point exactly what
it was that I was hoping to achieve.
 By knowing what I wanted to achieve, I was able to examine
what it was I was fearful of and how to over come it.
Thinking about and imagining my new successes,
my new customers and my new products helped me
feel that I could do this. 
 I wanted to connect and help women feel
better about themselves, share their feelings, their joy,
 encourage each other and express their love. A manifestation
board helped me to connect in a very real and authentic way
to how I could make that happen in my new biz.

The idea of thinking about what I wanted, how
that would feel and what it would look like was a bit
new to me to be honest. I spent a lot of time thinking about
what I DIDN'T want. I was in a "lack" mindset. I focused
on what was missing. If you know anything
about the law of attraction then you know, you get back
what you put out there. Constantly thinking about
I didn't want was working very well let me tell you.
 I decided to change my tune and vision and go
after what I did what. Having the confidence to write 
this post and share with you is part of that vision.

If you are in need of a change, want to day dream,
 feel like some art therapy and a little fun then I
highly recommend getting out some old magazines.
Cut, glue and paste your vision for as long as your
heart desires. Enjoy!
Much luv, Lisa xo

Arrivederci To the Past & Hello to New Moon Seeds

Arrivederci To the Past
Hello to New Moon Seeds

Hiya! Nice to see you!
Yes, it has been a long time. Yes, I had all the best of intentions

to blog more, blog regularly or to just blog at all.

*crickets*

Thaaaaaaat's right. I dropped the ball. Again.

I did not blog, not once. 

In all honesty, I got scared again.

I chickened out, I made excuses, I wasn't ready.

I thought I was....I wasn't.

So there. That is truth. I tried but I couldn't.

I'm saying Arrivederci to the past and all the 

charming mistakes it holds.

No more apologies. 

No more guilt and no more regrets!

I move forward never to apologize for allowing 

cob webs to nestle on my blog again.
I've given the crickets their walking papers

and called in the proverbial cleaning crew.

Time to put on my try again cape and just move forward.

Stamped it! Called it! No eraseies!

*smooths out skirt, makes bangs are pinned to the side,

 applies fresh  gloss and smiles*

****

Today there is a new moon and I like to make new lists

and start new projects on a new moon.

A new moon is a time to plants the seeds of things 

you want to make happen. You set you intentions, envision

and plan. Let go of the things that no longer serve you.

It is a great time to make to-do lists and start new projects.

So, here I am writing a blog post and setting my intentions to

be more connected with you.

Nothing big or grandiose here. Just a simple plan

to become more connected and in touch.
These are the seeds I am planting tonight

out into the universe.  I feel about this :)

I would like to start with Instagram.

I love Instagram and using it to share.

You can find me at ila.and.alice IG here:

https://www.instagram.com/ila.and.alice

I definitely think there is some magic mojo 

happeningover here on this new moon.

I feel good about this Pussycats!

Love to you all, Lisa :)

Starting Over, Facing My Demons and Healing

Hiya Pussycats!

It is time for me to make my way back to social media and blogging.
 So much to say and share!! I am super excited to get back on
this horse because there have been bumps in the road.

Warning! I am going to be rambly as this post is a journal entry
 if you will. This post is a declaration enabling to me to come
 out from my creative shadow and two years of confusion
and apprehension.

So, in advance, thank you for staying with me in this post

as I bare a few truths from my creative soul. 

This wasn't a difficult post to write but it is always a wee bit daunting
when one bares ones soul on the internet, as you do :)

Change isn't easy and can be terrifying when 

you start digging deep and look for the answers about what
went wrong. I am sure many of you out there can relate.

Lots has happened since I wrote last and also lots has not happened.

Firstly, I said good bye to my beloved namesake and faithful biz name
Weezi a few weeks ago. Weezi had been a trusted companion
and cherished friend to me in more ways then I can say.
Weezi helped me make my mark on the world and I have to admit
it is with many mixed feelings and a heavy heart that I
say good bye to my old friend.

Weezi has brought me more joy and happiness then I could
possibly put into words. The creative expression & colourful
 journey I have taken with Weezi has been the stuff of dreams.
I am extremely grateful for everything both good & bad that
I have experienced bc of Weezi. All the connections, the visits,
 the friendships, the fashion shows  and smiling faces will
continue to be my resource for inspiration 

as I move forward with my re-naming and re-branding.
Change is never easy but it can be a bit less intimidating when

you know the time is right to make those changes. Now is the
 right time to change the name, how I run my biz and my
 life for that matter.

So, a last farewell and good-bye to Weezi with
 many thanx for the adventure *sniff* xoxo

( my bricks & mortar shoppe 2007- 2014)
*****

So what is the new name of my biz...????

.....my biz is now called "ila and alice" :)

I have re-named my biz after my Grannies bc they were

both incredible, creative, smart, tough women who helped
shape me into the crafty gal that I am today. I miss them both
 very much and  thought naming my biz after them both
would be a wonderful way to honour their talents, their
love and their contributions to the 

world while they were here.

ila and alice were very different women but they understood the
 immense personal value of creating and making things. They both
loved to express themselves though crafty en-devours and they
were both very talented in their crafts of choice.

As I start my journey down this very new path I am thrilled and

greatly comforted by bringing them along. I luved them both dearly
 and being able to share their stories throughout my adventures
 into online selling eases the sorrow of missing them.

 I look forward to sharing their lives, their insights and gifts with 

you and having you get to know them :)

*****

So what is the long rambley post all about then you might ask!

Well, the up-start with the new biz has been a wee bit slow 

as I am still handling my creative "stage fright" after having shut
down my Weezi shoppe two years ago.

Things haven't gone as planned since I moved and closed the
shoppe. I have been all over the place and changing my mind about
many things as one does after a major life change.
Something was missing.

I just couldn't get back into my groove. I was restless and eager
but also felt lost and confused. I didn't recognize myself  and I felt
 like I was in a thick fog and didn't know which way to turn.

People said... Pull your boot straps up! 

Move forward! Get on with it! It's easy, you've been doing it

for twenty years! Don't be foolish!

Well, the truth is that I have tried those things and it didn't work.

I lost my creative "mojo".  My feeling free to create, sew,  mix 

and match  and glue with abandon was adrift in a glittery spiral
downwards. After having lost my routine, my customers and my
sense of purpose I was having some serious blockage with my
creative abilities and it felt like the designers version of writers block. 

After I closed the shoppe in March of 2014 I thought I could easily
pick up where I left off and just simply start creating and making
 like nothing was different. This was not to be the case.

I tried to get back into the groove and start sewing up a frenzy
of goodies. Each attempt was stymied with a lack of enthusiasm
and feeling of actual indifference. I just needed a break I thought.

But, after many struggles I got to the point where I thought 

to myself ...."I don't like sewing anymore".

WHAT?

Not like sewing?! Preposterous! I have been sewing since I was 6.

I luv sewing! I could sew 200 hours a day and luv every minute.
I sew in my sleep! I am a mega sewer! I sew everything
and anything! This could NOT be true because if 
I wasn't sewing and wasn't luving sewing then who was I???? 
What did I have to offer the world without sewing?
The concept was terrifying and
beyond perplexing. I had never, ever felt this way.
Everything came to an abrupt halt.

* cue in the needle skidding across the record*

And, so it began....my journey into looking for my lost creative mojo.

It wasn't just about the sewing and designing it turned out.
It was all things creative. OMG!
This was terrifying with a capital T.
I was lost.

With great hesitation and reluctance I started to re-assess.
 I finally accepted and recognized that what I was doing
 before wasn't authentic to me and my own creative expression.

I had to examine and look at at how I actively participated
in my own creative demise. All my mistakes and sins started
creep up on me like a sordid date in a cheap suit and I couldn't
stop him from showing up and knocking at my front door. I had to
 admit some shit I did not want to. I had to be realistic because
if I didn't, the bad suit at my door would NEVER stop knocking.
I had to take control back and pony up some truths because I hated
 the cheap cologne that wafted off that cheap suit and how it
hung under my nose with indifference. 

Here are those truths:
I created to sell quickly, I created to make everyone else happy
 and I created what I thought would make people "get me".

I created to fill a void in myself. I created with fear and resentment.
I tried SO hard to please everyone and I tried so hard to

be everything to everyone else that I lost myself along the way.

It back-fired with such velocity that I am still picking up the pieces.

Don't misunderstand, I still luv vintage, vintage looks,

vintage fabrics and all of the things I was passionate about the last
few years. The problem was that I created from a place that was
 looking for acceptance  and validation from people who would
never give it to me. I created from a place that was a
true charactuer of desperation. I thought the harder I

try to please everyone the more they will start to REALLY see me,
get me and like my offerings. I contorted myself creatively
 and mercilessly trying made things that  didn't come from a
place of true authenticity. I didn't create from my heart I created
 from a messy, confused, scared place that was ruled by fear.

Fear of failure and fear of rejection.

The sad part was, that after awhile this became a natural state for me.

I voided out and neglected my creative soul and consciousness and 

thought I could get away with it. 

Ultimately, the universe doesn't work that way.

Turns out that the universe will eventually slam the proverbial

piano lid down on your neglected soul in order to 

salvage what is left of your mental health and emotional well being.

Ouch.

My lack luster for sewing and creating was a heavy handed wake
up from something bigger then me and I had no choice put to sit
up and pay attention. My ego was shoved into a shoe box while
my inner self screamed and sounded the alarm.....

"Time to take the weapons from the walls people!!
We must end the hostility!!"

This was now out of my hands. Time to get real.

Seriously, the hardest part was saying and admitting that I was
 living in denial, shame and hurt. Mostly shame. So much shame.
Huge cargo containers chuck full and seeping out shame. 
Shame of perceived failures.
Shame of wanting and needing to be validated.

Shame and fear of anyone finding out that I was ....well, a fraud
and that maybe I really had no talent. Maybe, just maybe I
was an impostor and a fraud!! Point and laugh they will at the
 lady with the giant scarlet F pinned on her chest! It was a lot to
 process and I was unsure I even wanted to process it.

There was a lot of hurt under there.
Maybe I could sweep it under the carpet???
No.

Soooooo.......

 Door #1: Live with the fear and self-loathing OR!

Door #2: Ask the tough questions, look within and find help.
Door #2!!

What was most surprising in all honesty that once I made
the decision to do so, I was relieved by how much support
and love was out there.  Yes! I found myself in a place where
 I was told it would be OK. OK???! Surely not! I am self-describe
 fraudster and charlatan in my community. There is no mercy for such behaviour, surely. It couldn't be Ok. It didn't make sense.

But it was OK. I was not a phony.

All those icky, grimy, ugly, dirty mistakes and 
feelings that I harboured
 about rejection and validation were allowed to come out
without the humiliation I feared.

Hmmmmmm, fear.

Fear is a clever crippler who fancies dancing with humiliation on
 a regular basis. The two are a toxic and deadly combination
 that will grow roots in your soul so gently and warmly you don't
even know what is happening.

 They reside in your psyche like welcomed sidekicks bolstering
up your  ego for months & years with cheap gin and canned ham.
Why?

Because the sad part is that it doesn't take much to make your
ego feel warm and fuzzy. Your ego, if left to its own devices, will
thrive from the "liquid courage" of falsehood and doubt provided
 by ill-gotten nutrients.

What I didn't know then but I do know now is that forgiveness
and support are easily accessible. 
Strange concept to me this, but very much real. 
The trick was that I also had to forgive myself. 
Imagine that.
 Forgiving myself for being a fallible human was not
only doable but essential.
Essential. No options here...only forgiveness.

Forgiveness FOR myself FROM myself deep down was the
beginning of
the healing process. Being to able to look at myself and say
 "It's OK! Let's move forward" was a new concept to me. 

Let me say too, there is such freedom is screaming out
 "I fucked up!!!" So liberating not to fear saying it out loud
 and not allowing the anxiety to reside tightly in your mind
and in your chest.

I.Fucked.Up. ----> Glorious.

Relief doesn't even begin to describe how I now feel everyday.
Am I still nervous and unsure?

Yes, absolutely! But do I live under a veil of self reproach?

No, thank goodness...no.

Soooooooooo, yeah. This brings me to now.
I'm a little battle weary, still nervous but oh so happy to feel free
 of shame, fear and my self imposed emotional confinement.

So happy to have waded through so much of it!

From this point on I have made a promise to myself  to continue
 to the do the work while learning to not fear my inner voice
and my intuition in regards to what will make my creative-self shine.
The best part is that I will have both my grannies with me to help
 get me back into the swing of things. 

Hallelujah and pass the glitter and the glue gun!! :)

Thanx Pussycats for being a part of this with me!!

Much luv, Lisa xo